Lost and found

I spend a fair amount of time on the phone with friends, it seems. I am so grateful that we have one another on this path. We are finding our soul family connections that feel so deep and true. A friend had recently experienced the deaths of close family members, three in a row. Intense emotions and experiences for anyone but one right after another was overwhelming. I was amazed to witness her ability to stay present through it all and hold a center of stillness and peace for her family. She endured many challenging scenes as is oft the case when someone dies and feelings of guilt, regret or anger come to the surface. When the death of a parent is involved, siblings can revert back to playing their old childhood roles. Being back in the family of origin, in the old house, can all conspire to bring up old patterns. Cellular memory takes over and it takes great awareness to avoid being sucked into those old patterns.


My friend saw this play out with her mom with whom she had had a challenging relationship for most of her life. She and her mom viewed life through a different lens. The death of her dad had brought up some of these painful emotions as things were said and done that were anything but soft. Yet my friend kept on giving, kept on being present. Her perseverance paid off as she invited her mom to stay with her for some time. During her stay, her mom made a comment about some of my friend’s paintings on the wall. She is a gifted artist but her mom said, “They are not very pretty, are they?” Oh, the things we say to one another! Here is one of her pieces that her mom did not like due to “her eyebrows”.

Now if my friend had known that she would be bringing her mom back with her, she said that she would have removed the paintings, knowing that they would not be her mom’s cup of tea.
Yet something wonderful came from this as before her mom left, she told my friend that she was to be done with her caretaking role for the family. It was time for her to stay put on her island home and to paint! Yes, her mom actually told her that when she left, her desire was to see her daughter paint. She emphasized that my friend was not to let anything or anyone distract her. She should focus her energies on her gift and get her painting under way again. Can you imagine how amazing that would feel after sixty some years of not being seen to suddenly have your mom, who constitutes the fundamental relationship in our lives, accept and encourage you to shine your light? Oh, my heart was just bursting as she shared her story. How beautiful. How wonderful that my friend received this gift. How powerful a creator she is to have done her own inner work that enabled her to hold space for her mom all those years, to continue to love her and care for her through all the ups and downs. Amazing! The reward so sweet after all that she had gone without for so long.

It was a beautiful story for her mom also, to at last be clear enough to see her daughter for the beautiful heart that she is. To see her talents and acknowledge them. Don’t we all yearn to be seen? To be truly seen for who we are? I also love how Spirit works with us to create situations for healing. If my friend had removed her paintings from the wall, her mom might not have made the comment that ultimately led to the healing that took place.

My mom and dad disowned me twenty some years ago. My dad has since passed away and my mom has not spoken to me in all those years. ( A younger sister had to be hospitalized and it came out that there had been incest in the family. I was the record keeper and spoke the truth which led to their disowning me.) I tried calling about a year ago when I had experienced a vision of my parents in meditation where I saw them both healed and swimming in a chalice of love in my heart. I wanted to tell my mom that I loved her and forgave her. I did not have her number but was able to contact my younger sister who lives near her. This sister has also not had contact with me. When I asked her for mom’s phone number, she became very upset and said, “You have been dead for twenty years. You cannot just come back to life. It would upset Mom”. Wow, I had somehow forgotten that I was dead! It was a very strange feeling. So sometimes, the healing and love can only be expressed through Spirit and other times, it can be expressed in our world, as has been my friend’s case.

So much is transpiring now to awaken us to our own beauty and truth. I am filled with gratitude for it all. Another friend called to tell me of a new job coming her way that will be one she enjoys and that she will be able to make money at. She has struggled for so long and been so brave in the face of losing so much in her life. I cried when she told me the news. I cry so often these days, tears of joy as we all find ourselves closer to our hearts. We are moving into that world that we have dreamt of all of our lives. I finally feel like I am living in a world that fits me more and more each day. I fit! You fit! We all fit! All of us sensitives and empaths can breathe a sigh of relief to be living in a world in which we are moving towards peace and love.

We were lost from ourselves and now we are found. Found in our hearts of love. I love you all.

Painting can be found at:


http://leabard.womanmade.net/gallery.html


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